Relinquished
by EnsoDancer
Summary: "It is a matter of honor." "I do not beleive you know the meaning of the word," he said.


"What do you want?" he glared at her as she remained cloaked in the shadows of a support beam.

"You hate me," she said, a statement rather than a question.

"I feel nothing. Hatred or otherwise toward you," he replied evenly.

"It is what I expected."

"What you expected?" he scoffed unable to keep the childish sarcasm from his voice. He hated the way her presence unlaced his well practiced control. "You were the one who said we were fated to be enemies, that our duty to our fathers was unsurmountable."

"Yes, nothing has changed," she said without emotion and staying tucked into the shadows.

The pair were silent. Assessing each other as they stood on an upper level in the skelton of a high rise construction site, the night breeze blowing through the train of her cloak and the tails of his mask.

"Then why call me here now? What more could here be to say, it's been almost a year." he questioned tightening his grip on the swords he had drawn at first sight of her.

"It is a matter of honor."

"I do not beleive you know the meaning of the word," he said automatically.

She scoffed a quick humorless laugh. "And you do? Tell me Leonardo, beloved eldest son, did you tell your master? Did you kneel at his feet and beg his forgiveness? How did he react knowing you have lain with the enemy and betrayed his trust?"

Though he worked to keep himself in check, he could not prevent her from seeing his jaw clench and eyes narrow slightly.

"Ah, I see. You deceive him still. He does not yet know your shame and your honor is no more in tact than mine." She let her face be seen a bit more from under her hood and stared at him. A challenge hanging between them.

"That's what this is?" he voice dripped with disgust. "The Shredder using his daughter to blackmail me? What do you think, I'll just step aside and let the Foot terrorize the city to keep you from broadcasting my dishonor? Well you're right about one thing. Blinding myself to your treachery, thinking that there may still be something redeemable in you makes me a disgrace to my clan. I am ready to own that mistake and I would not expect my Master to ever forgive what I've done. But I will tell him myself before I will let the Shredder benefit from my shame or hold it over my family." Leo seethed with more bravado than he actually felt.

"Fool. Whether you reveal the truth to your rat master is of no concern to me. It is _my_ Master who must be protected, it is he who must never be told. That deceit is _my_ shame to carry for the Shredder must never know or all our lives are forfeit."

"So you're just here to save _yourself_? Ensure I never talk?" Even in his distain for his former lover he still found it difficult to see here as so purley evil. Deadly... yes but she had never been overly concerned with self-perservation.

"It is not my own life I protect. I would welcome my Master's punishment, even death to relieve my current dishonor and misery."

"Well you certainly aren't here to protect me. You've never given a damn about my life. Not really. You've tried to kill me too many times. And I'm not convinced you aren't attempting to do it right now through some trick."

She noted the slipped curse, exceedinly rare for him and a sure sign he was not as calm as he was trying to appear. It worried her. Would he be able to do this? He was so young. Then she reminded herself that they were both young. It had been their youth that had caused them to believe they might be able to escape the reality of their situation. But like their youth, that was over now.

"You are the enemy of my Master, Leonardo. When we meet in battle, I will always try to dispatch you. I am honor-bound." She nearly pleaded for his understanding.

"Ok, I've heard enough. I don't know what games you're playing but I am not interested. I will not be your plaything again, kunoichi." He turned, ready to disappear into the night.

"Wait!" she called.

He didn't stop.

"Please." she called to him again. The hint of desperation in her voice reached his ear and stopped his step.

Whipping to face her he demanded, "What Karai. Tell me what this about. Now."

Her lips parted to say something but then she closed them again, unsure which words would be appropriate. She stared at him for a long moment. Then, reaching under her cloak, she bent forward and untied the knot of fabric at her chest. Leonardo stood ready to attack, half expecting her to draw a weapon.

With the knot undone, carefully she pulled a small bundle off her back and held it out to Leo.

"Take it," she whispered almost inaudible.

Leonardo, stood unmoving, suspicion clear on his features.

Bringing the bundle back to her chest and holding it in the crook of her left arm, she used her right hand to fold back the blanket. Leonardo simply stared as the cherub pale green face of a sleeping infant was revealed. Again, holding the baby out to Leonardo she repeated forcefully, "Take it!"

"What? B-But h-how? Its not possible. It's can't be—" Leo stuttered uncharacteristically.

"Do you not believe the evidence of your own eyes? Take it or I will drop it," she demanded angrily.

At her words, Leo was overwhelmed by the intense protectiveness that flooded his system. Like that which he felt for his brothers but even more so. Sheathing his swords without thought to how venerable it left him, he reached for the infant, cradling it his plastron.

Karai's arms fell slack to her sides at the child's sudden absence. Choosing to look off into the black night she spoke tersely. "It is male."

"A son? Our son?" Leo breathed the words unbelieving. For many reasons, not least of which the impossible biology, he had accepted long ago that he would never have a child to hold in his arms. Yet he was holding a son and could not help the silly smile that crossed his face, despite the enormity of the situation. The love for the life in his arms so completely and instantly a part of him, that he could not remember ever feeling otherwise.

"No. Not _our_ son. I have no child. I have no one." she stated.

Finally looking at Karai, Leo noticed the strain in her neck, though her face remained inscrutable.

"Karai—"

"No, it must never call me okasan. Do you understand? After today, we can never meet as anything but enemies. If the Shredder finds out my shame, nothing will stop him from killing it, he will be relentless and even you will not be able to stop him."

"No one will ever hurt this child," Leo stated vehemently.

She looked at him then, almost envious of his naiveté.

"You must teach it to hate me and the Foot like the rest of your family. And you must teach it to fight. You must ensure it is the best fighter in your clan. Better than you, better than your Master, better than me."

"I don't understand. You are a mother now, you must see that you can no longer serve the Shredder. We—"

"I serve the Shredder. I will _always_ serve the Shredder. Hear me! I am honor bound to end you. And one day… I will succeed."

Leonardo said nothing. Knowing the reality of a warrior's life and accepting that one of them would likely die at the end of the other's sword. Her skill was too great to be sure it would not be him.

Her breath hitched, "And then it will be honor-bound. It will understand then. We will be the same then. He will have no choice but to seek vengeance for _his_ father, for _his_ clan. And when he comes for me, Leonardo, I will have no choice, I will not stay my sword. So he must have the skill to win, to defeat me. Only then will my dishonor be lifted. Only then can there be peace."

"No! There is always a choice. You don't have to do this Karai, not like this," he cradled the infant closer to his plastron.

"You will teach him?" she asked quietly, still gazing into the distance.

"He will be taught because it is his heritage, not because he's destine to become the end of our feud. That is for us to have the courage to do, right now, right here." he said unwaveringly. His acceptance of raising the child complete and unnessasary to speak.

Ignoring his words she continued, "And he will never know the truth about me?"

Leo glared at her.

"If you care for its safety, you will agree," she said, again trying to regain her clinical tone.

The child in his arms cooed then and he looked into his son's face. He knew she was right. Raising him would be easier without worrying the Shredder was trying to destroy him. At least, anymore than the Shredder already sought to destroy his family.

"I will not lie to him. But he will not learn who his mother is from me, that is all I can offer on my honor."

"It is enough," she said noticeable relief lacing the words.

She turned abruptly then, her sable cloak billowing at the movement. Glancing up from his son, Leo saw only dust where she had been.

Nearly three blocks away, Karai finally stopped running. Continuing at a walk her steps became increasingly labored. With each step, her glacial composure seemed to crumple and fall away from her face leaving it twisted and pained. Leaning heavily against the side of a brick building in a dark alley, she rapidly tried to suck air into her lungs, hyperventilating like someone well below her level of conditioning. Taking a few more weaving and shaky steps, she suddenly clung to the wall as the contents of her stomach were violently ripped from her body. She retched until tears streaked her face and she was exhausted. Dropping to her knees, uncaring of the mess, she pounded her fist into her chest willing the searing anguish to dissipate. "Ohhh, my son," she wailed unable to contain it any longer, "what have I done!" She hacked choking on her own dispair, "musuko, my son, forgive me, forgive your retched okasan!"

Sitting alone in the urine-scented alley, she was unaware of the drizzle that began and the hours that passed. She sat weeping quietly. She felt as if every last remnant of her soul was leaving her body as tears. Tears she watched fall into a stream that flowed into a sewer grate at the end of the street. Until finally, there was nothing left. No tears, no child, no soul, no feelings, nothing. Nothing was good. She could survive with nothing. Clinging to the emptiness, she used it to claw her way to standing. It was done and she was on auto-pilot. She would return to Saki Tower from her year-long "overseas mission" tonight.

She navigated to the abandoned apartment where she had given birth two weeks earlier. Immediately she went about erasing all evidence of her presence and fixing her appearance. Almost finished, she stood a moment in the bathroom mirror eyeing herself in the Foot bodysuit she had been unable to wear for the last few months. The Foot emblem covering the spot on her chest she had been beating only an hour ago. The tight garment did not quite fit her correctly anymore, her body changed. She wondered if it ever would.

End?

* * *

Comments and critque welcome. Thanks for reading.


End file.
